I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
