Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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