I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
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