Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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