Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize