The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sarcasm needs its own font
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
how drunk are you?
Several
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
