it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
