And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
