She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Randomize
