You made me cry and you don't even care
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
