omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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