ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
should my penis look like a turkey
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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