you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
