one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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