you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
