She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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