Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My life is pants optional.
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