How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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