Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
