hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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