Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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