i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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