I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just high enough for therapy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
