Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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