toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
