I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
