Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize