he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have post one night stand depression
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