Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
