Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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