She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
