We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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