Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
that is very illegal...i love you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
