Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
