I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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