there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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