So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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