I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
