Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
