Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
two words: eviction party
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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