that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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