Will you blow on my dice?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
