No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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