Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Are these your boobs on my camera?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
