are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
