I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
