Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
