it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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