She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
