It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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