brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
True but thats because hes a fetus.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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