i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
