you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
