There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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