On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i drank out of a bidet.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
