Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
