You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
