Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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