I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
