i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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