Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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