We're facebook friends in real life
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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