i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
