Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
