i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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