Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
smell my finger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
