Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
